Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
