What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
