Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
