How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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