Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
