Texts From Last Night · paid's Favorites

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paid's Favorites Texts:

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(951): View more from California

Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.

Fav 31 7297 1728
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(214): View more from Texas

Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.

Fav 36 10568 3673
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(706): View more from Georgia

don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.

Fav 26 7055 1555
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.

Fav 75 1244 6893
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(903): View more from Texas

I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.

(214): View more from Texas

It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.

Fav 17 5356 1200
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home

Fav 26 13926 1190
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(270): View more from Kentucky

There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.

Fav 26 4305 1040
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(304): View more from West Virginia

You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.

Fav 24 9638 2726
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