Texts From Last Night · lostinadream's Favorites

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lostinadream's Favorites Texts:

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(585): View more from New York

The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.

Fav 10 4241 1548
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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!

Fav 67 2213 4895
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(662): View more from Mississippi

As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.

Fav 15 2612 1160
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.

Fav 13 7338 1408
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.

Fav 21 3547 1123
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(512): View more from Texas

If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.

Fav 10 2844 1034
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(618): View more from Illinois

An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.

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