Texts From Last Night · dyell's Favorites

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dyell's Favorites Texts:

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club

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(248): View more from Michigan

i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech

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(757): View more from Virginia

It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.

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(516): View more from New York

The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there

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