Texts From Last Night · duhammm's Favorites

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duhammm's Favorites Texts:

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(613): View more from Ontario

Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.

Fav 21 8917 1547
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand

Fav 8 4932 1291
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(513): View more from Ohio

i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.

Fav 10 6371 2066
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(214): View more from Texas

She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca

Fav 19 1752 7372
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(512): View more from Texas

I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.

(1-512): View more from Texas

Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.

Fav 16 4526 1648
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(801): View more from Utah

Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first

(206): View more from Washington

You are the luckiest man alive

Fav 16 11135 2013
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.

Fav 19 7103 1439
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(248): View more from Michigan

dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call

Fav 66 1668 5507
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