Texts From Last Night · ZacTheZebra's Favorites

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ZacTheZebra's Favorites Texts:

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(+61): View more from Australia

He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?

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(662): View more from Mississippi

We should reintroduce naked Mondays

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(706): View more from Georgia

Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out

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(860): View more from Connecticut

We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"

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(907): View more from Alaska

If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.

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(216): View more from Ohio

There were penises being pulled out everywhere.

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(434): View more from Virginia

Oh shit. There are penis maracas

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