Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
