I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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