his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
