i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
