While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
