Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
