I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The power of my boobs compel you
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
