ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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