Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
