i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I can't turn off my feet"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
