I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize