i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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