Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
