my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
