This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
