break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
