i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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