Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
