omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
