Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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