Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
