everyone is single if you try hard enough
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
