Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I can text with my tongue
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
