is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
