His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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