who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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