I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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