HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
