I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
