You're my little dorito
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
