So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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