I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
