is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
