Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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