So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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