I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I pour the whiskey from now on
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
