"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
