he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
not ubering you a puppy
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
