She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
