Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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