Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
