yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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