oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
