Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
